Christmas…. December 29, 2003

Well, Christmas was wonderful. I got everything I wanted and didn’t even have to ask for it. I got some books, pj’s, dvd’s, and other cool stuff. My mom and dad were awesome. They really surprised us this year. I got the Finding Nemo Collector’s Edition DVD from a good friend.

I also got to experience Russell’s family’s Christmas tradition, which I must say is hilarious. I truly enjoyed it.

Well, that’s all.

Thought of the Day: “I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine. You shall be my squishy.” -Dory (Finding Nemo)

Ticking Time Bombs? December 23, 2003

The media takes the average gamer and makes them out to be an associated figure with that of the killer. It brings the fact that we, as gamers, compete with others for the chance to live and progress through a story line. The media has gone so far as to call gamers “ticking time bombs”. But aren’t we all, in some sense, able to think of ourselves in the same light? Isn’t there a single time in your life where you could be capable of doing something you weren’t proud of. Society is full of ticking time bombs these days, the least of those, in most cases, are gamers.

The only thing different about a gamer, depending on what he or she plays, is the knowledge that is associated with our experiences. We know at least a little about guns and the sort. We know a little of what goes on in gun fire and combat. And, in a virtual sense, we have been all but nullified to it.

But then again an action flic can give you the same type of experience. Who are you, as a media writer, to write on the evils of my nature and not even acknowledge the evils of another and the society that breeds them.

The media is full of morons. Bigger morons that go around thinking life is a video game. Why? Because that attitude breeds modern-day gun-slingers.

Save your bigot opinion for your dress drawer pink diary or your online journal and don’t create more people that think the same way you do advocating false information.

Next Fall and Big (Little) Frustration December 22, 2003

Okay, so here’s the deal, for those in the back that aren’t getting it:

Nina and I will be living together next semester.

Okay, so maybe there won’t be anyone in the “back”, but I just like talking about it. Why? I’m definitely excited about it and pumped to get started on classes. You don’t understand, perhaps, that for the first time, I’m enjoying school. I’m enjoying the reasons of school and I’m enjoying the goals I’m setting. I’m enjoying applying and talking about transferring; I’m enjoying the online searching for apartments (and the real one in March); I’m enjoying my life, in general. And for that, I thank everyone in it.

The only thing I’m not enjoying, in comparison, is the push for a job. Yes, okay, I should have got a quick job for the holidays, but, you know, it didn’t occur to me, and I don’t do things without a dramatic amount of focus and thought on the subject first. I don’t know why I didn’t do it. And, I didn’t work last summer because I wanted to be with Nina too much. I wasn’t too concerned about my finances, and, right now, I’m still not. But I also plan to get a job this summer…

… the point is this: I’m tired of being attacked about not working. I’m tired of busting my ass and getting attacked. Yeah, okay, so there’s more to do out there, but there’s a difference between pointing that out and beating it into the ground. So what if other people can work during a semester? I am not able! And you know what? I’m not taking a risk of screwing up after I’ve found the path to success again. I don’t care how much it’s pushed, it won’t happen until I know I’m able to work during the school year.

I was told that as long as grades looked good, that’s all my family cared about. They wanted me to succeed by setting the foundation for a good path. That’s what I’m doing! Unless I’m working in my field and I do it for a sustained period of time (which is better suited for the last two years of college), working generally attains three things: Money, work ethic, and the direct showing of appreciation for what my family has given me. Money will be attained this summer. My work ethic is progressing at a exponential rate. My appreciation is shown for what I own for an acceptance of what I must do that is most important to me and them. Perhaps I’ve confused what has been said in the later part, but everything else is covered…

… and I’m tired of feeling guilty about it. But thank you. I know that in some way, you’re right to do it. I won’t be that naive again.

Amazing how you can focus on one problem when you have but one problem.

First Real Visit To Tech and Holiday Experience December 19, 2003

Waking up at around 9 am, I got a shower and got ready for my first day to actually visit Tech. As much as I’d admired the idea of going to the school, based on what I do know, I’d never actually been to the campus.

Getting there was relatively easy. We went in to tour to discover a nice football stadium and the glimpses of a great campus. Upon the tour, which was fairly generic and uneventful, we got to see a few of the class rooms and got to see a lot of the buildings around the campus and get a pretty good feel of what goes on at the school.

Additionally, issues about transferring where perfectly cleared up and can easily be taken care of the first day I can talk to my advisor. Essentially, I need to take Chemistry and not History this semester. No biggie. Sure, tack on an extra hour to the overall schedule, but that’s to be expected when you start talking about labs.

After that we ate at a fairly local Italian restaraunt and had great kalamari. Yum!

I then ate dinner with Emily after shopping with her at Target. This was the first day of their holiday season. There, we didn’t exactly clear up any issues regarding her roommate situation, but progress is slowly being made. I still feel she needs to get out of there as soon as possible, but I do trust that the steps being taken toward that direction are the right one’s.

Grammy’s cookies are great!!

Major suckage… December 18, 2003

Well, what do I think about everything lately? It sucks. The whole thing…Christmas, work, time at home…they all suck major ass.

I have been so sad lately that I can’t even stand being awake. I wish that I could just sleep my life away rather than wake up and be reminded of how sad I am. I don’t know WHY I am sad, if I did I would work on that, but the whole thing just pisses me off. This is the first time EVER that I have been this sad at Christmas time. Even when I knew that I wouldn’t be getting ANYTHING under the tree, I wasn’t this sad. I can’t figure it out.

The walls are closing in around me. I can hardly breath in my house. There is no escape from the boredom. I can’t go anywhere without a hassle, I can’t have anyone over because, alas, there is nothing to do and the house is a mess to begin with. I can’t even stand to be in my room, which used to be my escape.

No one is home. I can’t call them and chit chat, not that they want to talk to me anyway. I can’t just have my best friend roll up in the driveway like she used to and kidnap me. If my other friends aren’t working, they are out together…without me. I hate it. I HATE IT!!!!!!

I can’t handle being at home…being out…being awake. Just knowing that when I wake up I will be in teh same situation that I was in yesterday aggrivates me to no end. I can’t even sleep well.

Bright side…get to see Lord of the Rings on Sunday. Exciting…yeah. I just can’t get hyped up anymore…no matter what I do. No money to enjoy myself, no one to enjoy myself with.

And to top things off, I may not get to see my grandmother this year because my dad “has no use for her”…and that really pisses me off. “No use” what an ungrateful bastard. She may only be my godmother, but she has done more for my family than anyone else. She has helped out my lame ass dad in situations that he couldn’t get himself out of and he has the nerve to tell me that he has “no use” for her? What an ass.

Well, I think that’s it.

Thought of the Day: “Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Good Kwanzaa.”

So… December 18, 2003

How many times have you turned to someone and asked them, “What do you think?” How many times have you been asked that question? I think the world would be a much better place if people required themselves to ask this to atleast three different people every day. That way, you have more than your own opinion to back yourself, and you get to know the people around you.

And all it takes is a one-liner that is all but cliche. It could mean the world to who you say it to. And it could mean the world to you.

So, “What do you think?”

Additionally, I’m loving Christmas. It is now fastly becoming my favorite time of the year. I’ve progressed to send in an application to GA Tech. I hope everything goes well with that as I read through the course requirements and come up with some questions. The options of what you must do in these requirements seem extremely stiff, perhaps my GPA will convince some alternative methods. As I am taking courses and progressing, it can’t matter too much as to the date they get accomplished. Oh well. All we can do is see.

I’m going to have to get transcripts from high school and college. College I’m not worried about, I’m there 24/7 when I “work” there, but Woodland High School, I worry about. Honestly, I’d love to never set foot on the campus again. As most of my favorite people have left and others are finalizing their high school retirement, I abhor the school and a few choice people from the faculty. Regardless, it will be fun to march in there, knowing that I have beaten the monster they set loose on me: myself.

When the stress falls, you can see how much the people that have let you go during the college time really yearn to talk to you like they couldn’t before. Emily, for instance, talks to me on a very frequent basis and enjoys it. I, for a limited time, can become her closest person once again. And I love that.

Good ol’ Christmas! December 13, 2003

The season really has begun with me. Coming home, I got to see my grandparents and my girlfriend since Thanksgiving. Although I can’t say that two weeks is really an extended period of time, it’s nice to be home again and being able to sit here contented and relaxed.

Christmas has given me the gift of a 3.5 GPA in college for the first semester. This is more than I expected as the B that I expected in Composition I somehow turned out to be an A. So, I am thankful for that and glad I’m putting as much effort as I am to do these things. Although, I could (and will) put more in. This was the first step. My grandfather seems really excited, my uncle, father, grandmother, and girlfriend will too when I get to tell them. I’m so pleased!

Break…. December 12, 2003

I guess I am one of the most ungrateful people in the world. I am exstatic that all of my good friends are coming home for the holidays…but I then realize that they all get to go away again. I wish that I could go away too. I feel that I am missing out on the college experience. I just truly wish that I could experience what they’re experiencing.

Also, this is the first break that I haven’t had any work to do. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am so bored. I really hope that I can find something to do.

Thought of the Day:”I dying of boredom”.

Holidays…. December 11, 2003

Well, I just finished my final exam of final exams week. My first semester in college went off without a hitch. I ended up with almost all A’s (I got one B in Biology) but that is still alright, I suppose.

My best friend in the whole wide world is home for the holidays. She called me at like 12AM “just to chat”, which I did wtihout hesitation. I am incredibly excited to see her. I have to make plans to do so over the break. I also talked to Russell and Megan and Daron and Jake…I seem to be very popular close to the holidays and late at night over the phone…everyone wants to spend time with me. It’s great to be loved…

And, one of the most important people of all returns home to Cartersville late this evening, my love. I am very excited about seeing him. I know it’s only been 11 days, but I miss him all the time. It will be nice to wake up next to him again and just lay in bed for a few hours.

I hope to get together with a lot more people over the break…Daron, Dana, Emily, Russell, Jake, Roxanne….and so many more. I really need to see the people that were dear to me before and are still now.

I think that’s all for now.

Thought of the Day: “Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain.”
-Dave Matthews Band

Phone…. December 10, 2003

What is it about the phone that makes it so unbearable to talk on? I understand that you can’t ’see’ the facial expressions or the hand gestures, but if you know the person really well, it shouldn’t matter. I can sit on the phone with someone, and in my mind I can see everything the person would be doing if they were there in person.

I can get that, but otherwise, is using one’s oxygen that much of a strain that they can’t talk? I mean…is it wholly unreasonable to want to talk to people you rarely get to see, if you have the time? I thought that that’s why the thing was invented in the first place. I guess not. I guess we’re meant to lose contact with the people we love, and lose even more personality by using the internet. The internet’s great, but then you lose out on voice inflections as well as facial and hand expressions. That’s great.

Thought of the Day:”867-5309(Jenny)”