Okay, so here’s the deal, for those in the back that aren’t getting it:
Nina and I will be living together next semester.
Okay, so maybe there won’t be anyone in the “back”, but I just like talking about it. Why? I’m definitely excited about it and pumped to get started on classes. You don’t understand, perhaps, that for the first time, I’m enjoying school. I’m enjoying the reasons of school and I’m enjoying the goals I’m setting. I’m enjoying applying and talking about transferring; I’m enjoying the online searching for apartments (and the real one in March); I’m enjoying my life, in general. And for that, I thank everyone in it.
The only thing I’m not enjoying, in comparison, is the push for a job. Yes, okay, I should have got a quick job for the holidays, but, you know, it didn’t occur to me, and I don’t do things without a dramatic amount of focus and thought on the subject first. I don’t know why I didn’t do it. And, I didn’t work last summer because I wanted to be with Nina too much. I wasn’t too concerned about my finances, and, right now, I’m still not. But I also plan to get a job this summer…
… the point is this: I’m tired of being attacked about not working. I’m tired of busting my ass and getting attacked. Yeah, okay, so there’s more to do out there, but there’s a difference between pointing that out and beating it into the ground. So what if other people can work during a semester? I am not able! And you know what? I’m not taking a risk of screwing up after I’ve found the path to success again. I don’t care how much it’s pushed, it won’t happen until I know I’m able to work during the school year.
I was told that as long as grades looked good, that’s all my family cared about. They wanted me to succeed by setting the foundation for a good path. That’s what I’m doing! Unless I’m working in my field and I do it for a sustained period of time (which is better suited for the last two years of college), working generally attains three things: Money, work ethic, and the direct showing of appreciation for what my family has given me. Money will be attained this summer. My work ethic is progressing at a exponential rate. My appreciation is shown for what I own for an acceptance of what I must do that is most important to me and them. Perhaps I’ve confused what has been said in the later part, but everything else is covered…
… and I’m tired of feeling guilty about it. But thank you. I know that in some way, you’re right to do it. I won’t be that naive again.
Amazing how you can focus on one problem when you have but one problem.