CHRISTmas is here — or, well, there — over there — soon to be here. Sure, its better than, let’s say… September. I can’t say I like September; I don’t imagine too many good things happened (to me) in September. October either — ‘cept Halloween.. I love giving little kids candy I would never dream of eating myself. Better yet, I love getting that sort of pagan-enriched candy. The Japanese candy makes me happy.
Grades are posted. I met my goal! I got a 4.0…. minus 1.0! Eh, I guess I didn’t much care this semester. I was moreso interested in getting settled in, bitching about my job, and doing a good bit of work and still not understanding my material. Towards the end I suppose I just said “Fuck it.” Sh, don’t tell.
“You see Bob, its a problem of motivation. Its not that I’m lazy, its that I just don’t care.”
“That’s right, I just don’t care. If I work my ass off at [Blockbuster, Innotech, GA Tech] I don’t see another dime.”
Yeah, ill founded, partially untrue, and completly obtuse — that’s the way I work.
Ever been forced to work from 10 PM ’til 7:30 AM? Its fun… you end up doing a lot of nothing, not caring if you screw things up, and just basically walking away from the time completely irate and feeling very abused and used. *adjusts tie* Welcome to the corporate world, I guess.
I guess I could walk into next semester promising to myself and others changes — big changes like I always have — changes that are massive like claiming “4.0, definitely happening”. We’ll see if I grow up or not. We’ll see if I’m immature and just say, “Maybe I’m setting my standards too high”. Maybe I’ll set my standards higher for myself — like I did a year ago. Maybe I’ll push the bar again…
… maybe not. But I should. And if I don’t do what I should, I’m obviously an irresponsible asshole that cares about no one but himself. And I guess if someone called me on it, maybe I’d realize it more. But someone has — I have.